Furlough Film Studio’s premiere nights are among the most important events on the calendar. They are also among the least understood, and we receive many questions. Here are the answers.
What time does the premiere begin?
The doors open at 7 PM. The film begins when everyone has found a seat and then moved. In practice, this means 8:40.
Is there a red carpet?
Yes. It is a red blanket laid across the corridor, and it is warm, soft and extremely popular. Arrivals are encouraged to walk down it slowly, kneading as they go. Any guest who sits down on the red carpet will be photographed, and will be the only photograph used.
What should I wear?
Anything. We encourage formal wear, but we also encourage nudity. Fur is perfectly acceptable at all times and is, in fact, the dress code.
Where do I sit?
The seating plan is as follows.
- The front row is reserved for cats who sit close to the screen and then complain about the glare
- The middle rows are for cats who want a good view and a good snooze
- The back row is for cats who intend to leave early
- The sofa at the side is for the director, and for whoever arrived first
Will there be snacks?
There will be snacks. They will be fish, mostly, with a few biscuits for the dogs. There will also be popcorn, which is for throwing.
Can I bring a guest?
You may bring one guest. If your guest is a dog, you must also bring an apology.
How long is the film?
Three hours, forty minutes, with an intermission. There is no interval between the intermission and the nap that follows.
What is the film about?
The film is about a cat on a sofa. It is a story of loss, love, and the slow passage of the sun across a cushion. It is very moving, especially at the end, when the cat moves.
Will there be a Q and A?
Yes, immediately after the screening. The director will answer questions from the audience, in the form of a slow blink. If you have a question, raise a paw. If you have an answer, please do not.
What if I do not like the film?
Please do not tell us. Please tell the critic, Mr. Hiss, who will agree with you.
Furlough Film Studio is a fictional company. This premiere is imaginary, and you are very welcome to attend.